If you're freezing on a cold night, you can always add a sweater, then a scarf, a coat, and mittens. You can keep adding clothing until you feel warm enough. Yet if you're too hot, you can only take off so much! The same thing applies to the way you handle a conflict. You can become more and more assertive, slowly, until you feel you are being heard - but if you start out angry and yelling, you can't remove the effect it has on others. You may have a grievance now and every right to be upset - but be careful how you handle it - handle it while in a cool state of mind.